Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can read

Why would a man be interested in an ordinary woman while there are very beautiful and fabulous women?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t buy bullshit

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Why are people of mixed race seen as more attractive than non-mixed-race people?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Why aren't F1 cars popular on the street?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

How can I get a girlfriend? I am 26.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Why does my vagina and around my butthole itch? I don't have weird discharge and I'm still a virgin.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Reddit user surprised when 1960s computer panel emerged from collapsed family garage - Ars Technica

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why do liberals and Democrats think it’s “ironic” for Donald Trump to say “We have to get back to law and order”?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have a reading level above third grade

What is your wildest experience in Bangalore that you haven’t told anyone?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What is a good way to conduct an interview?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why is the French way to say please is "S'il te plaît" and not "Pour Favour" like Spanish and Portuguese "Per Favor" and Italian "Per Favore" in the Romance languages group?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Which one is better to guys, boobs or butt?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fakery

What do you think will be the biggest factor in determining whether Daniel Penny was justified in believing that Jordan Neely had posed a deadly threat in the manslaughter trial?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Can people who have never met you tell if you are a covert narcissist?

I can count

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I see through liars

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee